The past four weeks have been fun, yet tiring - traveling to Penn for three of four weekends. I'm definitely willing to do it, but I've been getting somewhat worn out. So, it's nice to get a breather today in good ole' suburbia. I think I surprised everyone - friends and family- and mostly myself with how emotionally attached I could get with someone. I pondered over this for a bit last night. For some reason, I feel that the more I get attached, the more I should pull back. I guess it's a self-defense mechanism kicking in for fear of getting hurt. But, I've realized that I can't always live life on the defensive side. Sure, I should be a defensive driver, but other than that, life is so boring when you live cautiously. I'm not saying I'm going to live life on the edge and go crazy. But, just stop worrying and thinking too much. I think I'm already changing a bit. I'm calling this my "might as well" attitude toward life. E.g. if I ever get a chance to go skydiving, I might as well do it. Only got one life to live.
And, about that other thing balance. I'd say that the ideal that I talked about previously and strived for has been completely thrown off kilter. Everything - work, family, and friends - is second to Mr. Boyfriend. Thankfully, it's mutual. I'd say this is a symptom of it being summer right now. I've got a lot of time on my hands. About 85% of my time has been spent with him. Not saying it's a bad thing, just wondering what's going to happen when school starts.
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